Nick Kyrgios insists he’s hoping to fight for Grand Slam titles around half a decade since sinking to the lowest mental point in his life.
The unranked Australian who managed just one ATP match last season due to various injury setbacks, has yet to advise a return date.
But after pulling himself through a 2019 period of self-harm and despair, the 28-year-old former Wimbledon finalist says he’s a changed man.
But the dark period was not easy, with the frustrated player even self-harming and trying to hide the cut marks on his arms.
““I was drinking every night. It was a self-inflicted pain,” he told the 60 Minutes programme.
“I had friends around me telling me I was unhealthy and I ignored them. Then I found myself going to a psychiatric ward in London and had to play Nadal the next day (2019 second round, which the Spaniard won)..
I thought, ‘I can’t do this (remain hospitaised for a two-week evaluation) , somehow I have to change these habits.’
“So I self-harmed everywhere. I had to wear an arm sleeve on Center Court at Wimbledon and no one knew about these problems. It was hard. I look back and I don’t know how I got out of that.”
Kyrgios called the period “the darkest of my life.’ There was a tournament in Acapulco, where I was having suicidal thoughts, I was on the balcony of my hotel and I was really thinking about it.
“Ten minutes later I went out on the court, played incredible and won the tournament. That’s the person everyone was waiting for and I was really on edge. “It was very scary because no one else knew what was happening.”
The Australian said that he is now “at peace” with himself.
“I I just want to play for one or two more years, to be at the top and on my own terms. I would hate to have another surgery, so I think I still have the ability to make it through a year or two.”
He added: “These surgeries aren’t just little surgeries, it takes time, I’m only human. I don’t want to go back on Tour and just play decently.
“I was competing for Grand Slams, I want to get back to that level. So it might take a little longer.”
Main photo:-Nick Kyrgios wore a sleeve on his arm at Wimbledon 2019 to cover self harming attempts – by Roger Parker International Sports Fotos Ltd
